It'll take your God filled soul, and fill it with devils and dust

I really liked this opinion piece in the NY times about the Civil War. Why the Civil War you ask? This past Tuesday was the 150th anniversary of the beginning of the Civil War at Ft. Sumter. And in this time of polarizing politics I believe in learning from our mistakes.

I also think that as soon as I finish Moby Dick, I'll tackle the Complete Civil War.

In other news, I have a meeting with my faculty advisor about my NMS grant proposal today! Excited to get this thing off the ground, and more importantly, off my to-do list.

ready steady go!

Is going to her head





So...all geared up for a thrilling night of grant-writing.

Chammomile tea...check!

Inspiring music courtesy of the Empire Records Soundtrack...check!

23 papers about neonatal maladustment syndrome and de novo synthesis of neurohormones meticulously read and cross-referenced and filed..........oh crap.

I vaguely remember them being in the back seat of may car. I am on call tonight so I drove the field service truck home.

Strong feelings of self-loathing...check plus.

I don't see nothing new, but I feel a lot of change

Something new I'm trying. Click me, I go with the title.

So... as I attempt to re-start (resurrect?) this failure of a blog, I ask to myself "Self, what's the point?"...

I really don't know. This is not a knitting blog (shoutout to knit-tastic cousin Annie). I do not craft. I don't cook particularly well. I am not devoted to any small children. The only thing that I am really any good at is veterinary medicine, and I think UC Davis could potentially fire me if I talk too much about my individual patients. (I will, however, say that I floated 3 mules' teeth today. For info on floating, see this video of someone else doing it). Though I have quite strong political/environmental convictions, I'm not very good at expressing them (thank you last 4 years of reading scientific papers and medical textbooks).

I do, however, like stuff. I mean I like the hell out of some stuff. And I usually have an internal soundtrack. Today's soundtrack was brought to you by the Traveling Wilburys, a supergroup comprised of Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, Roy Orbison.

As for stuff I like: I really like this great band Among the Oak and Ash. Very Appalachia/folksy/Americana. The frontman is Josh Joplin. Check them out on the Mountain Stage on NPR. A note to my Republican readers: you will not turn into a socialist by watching a Mountain Stage broadcast. I can personally guarantee no liberal overtures in this concert.

I'm also really really liking my new LL Bean boots. I am firmly of the belief that cold feel are bad for the soul. Until recently, however, I was NOT of the belief that Northern California turned into a 6-inch-deep-mud-pit-puddle-ridden-crap-fest that could penetrate my poor beloved Ariat leather cowboy boots in under17 seconds. Everyone who spends any time outside should get these, they are amazing and warm and comfy. Here's a link to them featured in another blog I like, except this girl makes them part of a cute outfit. Order a size down.

Hope all 2 of my readers like the new format/theme.

I'm a long time traveling away from home

It's been a difficult 6 months. New place, new job, new friends (and old friends who have trouble with time zone math). New expectations. Apparently when I accepted my residency I was supposed to magically acquire a boatload of knowledge. This did not happen for me, so I am currently struggling through giant textbooks with bible thin pages and feeling like I'm running to stand still.

As always though, I am still finding time to read novels. "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" by David Wroblewski and "the Magicians" by Lev Grossman were both particularly good. Warning: "the Magicians" was quite gritty. Don't believe the review that compares it to Harry Potter- it's way more "Catcher in the Rye".

It's also been a particularly hard time for the family. It's strange calling it "family" when it's just the two of us. I try to put things into perspective and remember all I'm thankful for (dogs, Adam, Ellen for weeding the garden and helping me clean when that seemed so very important to me for some reason, everyone who came to the memorial service, sunsets on the sacramento river delta, foals). And I know when I see my dad again, it will be in a place like this:

which is far, far better than a wheel chair. But it's hard to stay in perspective all the time.

trying to re-start this whole thing. will do my best. stay tuned for updates.

she's writing, she's writing, she's writing a novel

So I love books. I have always, always loved to read. Though now I have to intersperse novels with some intense non fiction (for example, I am on page 73 of "Equine Neonatology Medicine and Surgery") I still love to read, and need to read at least a few pages before I go to bed every night. You could call it an addiction, I'm ok with it.



In any case, even though I love books so much, I often get overwhelmed in libraries and bookstores. I want it all...or do I? Is any of this good?

Which is where this amazing website http://goodreads.com comes in. It has reviews of almost every book ever written, and you can scroll through lists of books and add them to your "want to read" or "read" lists. You can also write your own reviews of books. I print my list of "want to read" books before Adam or I go to the library. I realize I am a giant nerd, but whatevs! This site is awesome!

PS- just read Peace Like a River, which was undeniably wonderful and uplifting. But if you join goodreads, you'd know that cause we'd be friends and you could read my reviews and see my lists.

with a boulder on my shoulder and feelin kinda older

I can't believe a year has gone by. What an exhausting, exhilarating, educating, humbling, amazing year. Thanks to all my family, friends, clinicians and internmates who helped get me through it. Thank you to my patients who taught me so much. And thank you most of all to Adam, my breakfast maker, fantastic listener, and love of my life.

If that sounds like an Oscar speech, so what. Finishing an internship and moving on to a residency is probably as close as I'll get.

Thanks to my wonderful cousin Laura, Adam and I found a place to live in West Sacramento! It has a yard and fruit trees and a patio. It also has a spare bedroom, so feel free to visit. We're moving via a POD, so Adam and I will be spending some time in MD before the cross country drive. I love traveling and am very excited! We have some, but not all of our route planned. Any suggestions? I've been to Ohio and California, but no place in between.

I'm on nights this week and will try to update more, but no promises.